MY BIGGEST PROBLEM

My biggest problem . . . is me!

Sometimes when things go wrong in my life I try to find someone else to blame my troubles on. There are plenty of candidates out there. They range from family members to friends, to co-workers or fellow church members. Being the fallible human beings they all are it's inevitable that I can find some inconsistency with them somewhere in an attempt to justify my troubles. And if I can't find anyone I know to blame my troubles on I can always turn my attention to the federal government and society at large. If that doesn't work I can go to the ultimate extreme and blame God Himself. Remember the tactic used by Adam in Gen. 3:12 when God confronted him about his sin. "The woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree and I ate it."

Sometimes when things go wrong with my life I try to find greener pastures elsewhere. A new job or a new church, I reason, will surely be an improvement and help me to be happy and free of stress, worry and trouble. More than a few times in my years of ministry I was convinced that prosperity and contentment was found somewhere else and made a move that turned out to be ill-advised and foolish. While there may be an initial rush of adrenaline at our "new" surroundings we inevitably wake up to the fact that we are the same person with the same weaknesses and imperfections we had before and the place where we have moved has it's own unique difficulties - sometimes much worse than our previous experience.

I suppose we're all like this to some extent. It's much easier to blame others for our troubles rather than owning up to them ourselves. It's much easier to move to another town or even change jobs or churches than face the difficulties that arise where we are.

You see . . . my biggest problem... is me!

I cannot control everything that others around me do or fail to do. I cannot change the fact that sometimes people do rotten things and behave in a manner that is far from being "Christ-like." (I often do the same things by the way). I cannot always change my surroundings and circumstances whether it's my geographical location, my job, my church or my home.

What I can do . . . and this is the hardest part . . . is change me! I can seek to exercise greater patience and love towards those who have failed me. I can seek to draw closer to God in my spiritual life by rededicating myself to Him and giving attention to my personal spiritual development. I can resolve to work harder, fly higher and straighter, love others more deeply and endure hardships with grace. In doing so I will grow strong and bear fruit. Why? Because I have dealt with the real issue at hand. It's not the people in my life, my surroundings, my job or my circumstances that make or break me! It's me! "For as he thinks within himself so he is" (Prov. 23:7).

FORGIVENESS

At the first congregation where I preached (almost thirty years ago) there was an elder and deacon who had experienced a disagreement with one another. To this day I have no idea what it was about. The thing I do remember is that they did not speak to each other. Looking back it's both tragic and humorous to think of the ways they would avoid each other at the back door of the church building. When one would inevitably meet the other he'd turn his head or look down at the floor before quickly walking away. I remember thinking at the time. "Here we are pleading for unity among religions and we can't even find it among ourselves." Sad, indeed.

At first I couldn't understand why these fellows wouldn't forgive each other. I would stand in the pulpit and go on and on about the need for unity, forgiveness and love. Nothing happened... at least nothing then. I was relieved to learn many years later that the two men had reconciled and put behind them whatever grievances they had with one another in the past.

I have to admit that it's a lot easier to preach on forgiveness than it is to practice it. On occasion I've experienced a bruise or two along the way that have been hard to handle. Feelings of betrayal and bitterness are difficult to overcome. Satan waits for such opportunities to instill hatred in our hearts. It can happen anywhere. At home with our families. At work. At church - yes, particularly at church.

But there's no option really. Forgiveness is both a necessity and a command of the Christian life. Jesus reminds us in Mt. 6:12 - "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." Then He adds, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (vss. 14-15). It's a hard thing to forgive those who have hurt us. It is hard to allow old wounds to heal and to make yourself vulnerable as you seek the restoration of that relationship.

I must hasten to add, however, if you think it's hard to extend and receive forgiveness just try withholding it. A grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. It will attack you over and over diverting the attention of your mind and forcing you to obsess upon the injustice you feel. It will destroy and tarnish relationships for the rest of your life unless you let it go, lay it down permanently and move on with your life.

I'll be preaching about forgiveness this coming Sunday morning at Goodman Oaks. It would be a pleasure to have you!

That's The Way I See It! .